Frustrating Family Members

Get Rich Slowly has an article that made me think of some of my family members who struggle with money. They just can't seem to be able to put money in the bank and leave it there.

Yes, like any kind of addiction, buying things fills the emotional gap that has never been filled by loved ones. For some people it is hard to turn away from that short lived high of buying a new outfit, electronic gadget, or the newly release book and put the money into a savings account or toward a credit card bill.

Why can some people leave a store without anything and others leave the store with $100 worth of items they didn't intend to buy? They are trying to fill that gap of love, self-esteem, self-respect, fill in the blank.

Until these people realize that things do not make them feel loved, they don't give them respect, and things do not help you believe in yourself, they will never have money. You can not force them to feel better about themselves. You can try to encourage them, but they are the ones that have to have an a ha moment or some kind of life changing event to help them change their thinking and lives.

How do I handle money moochers in my family?

Yes, I realize they have a lot of emotional problems, but that doesn't mean I have to enable their addictions and make things worse for them in the long run. I never give them money. If I feel that they actually need help for the children's sake, I buy the groceries and deliver them to their home. I go with them to pay a bill and give the money directly to the company. If they need gas, I will take their car to the gas station and put the gas in the car. I found that I don't get very many people asking me for money, because what they say they want the money for, really is not what they actually spend the money on.

It is hard to watch people struggle in life. But you can't live their life for them. They have to learn from their own mistakes and if they don't then they have to deal with the consequences. For me this means that I have to love people from a distance. I limit my contact with them and I don't bring up finances. I only give advise when asked and it is up to them if they use that advise or not.

How do you deal with financially struggling family members?